Update, Update, Update.



CAHIt’s been over a month now since I have updated my blog and I feel that I have been slacking a bit too much. It’s not that I haven’t been busy, on the contrary it has been very hectic around  here. On top of working everyday and running back and forth to doctor appointments, there is also soccer and of course orchestra and chorus concerts. I work for my weekends, which come and go so fast that I have hardly any time for myself. Needless to say it has been really busy. The house is coming together and soon I’m hoping to finally have a house-warming party. It will be a lot of fun to get everybody together and just sit back and relax with friends.

DSC_2381So I filed my taxes and to my dismay I’m not going to be able to get that camera that I wanted. I’m the only one to blame for that one, since getting promoted I did not go back and change my tax exemptions. With great sadness I only had enough for a refrigerator, but that was a necessity. So a lesson learned the hard way but I’m grateful that I didn’t owe like some people I know. I still have a few things to get for the house but all in all it’s pretty much done. My garage looks more like a man cave but if anybody knows me at all this is the way I like it.

DSC_2397 DSC_2396 DSC_2398 DSC_2314 SpaceSaver

I am so blessed with what I have in my life, I have nothing to complain about. Yes, I do have my moments where I think about the past and wonder what if I did things differently and where would I be now. There are people who I do miss, but I hope that they find peace, love and never forget that the past is what brought them to where they are and that I was a part of it, even if for a brief moment. Here is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies, which sums it all up.


“I’ve come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call “The Physics of The Quest”- a force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws gravity or momentum. And the rule of Quest Physics maybe goes like this:

“If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting(which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments)and set out on a truth-seeking journey(either externally or
internally),and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you
meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared – most of all -to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself….then truth will not be withheld from you.” Or so I’ve come to believe.”

― Elizabeth GilbertEat, Pray, Love

And on that last note, Until Next Time..

 God Bless


Long Time.

It’s 8:30 P.M on the first Sunday in November, 2012. I realized that it has been quite a long time since I have updated my blog. I have been really busy with work and my kids, and buying a new home. It has been a very long journey and I’m proud to say that I have finally reached that point that I can get a home and call it my own. Hopefully I can move in right before Christmas. The girls are excited just as much as I am, me especially, they finally get their own rooms..YES!!!

This year has gone by so quickly, I have no idea where it went. I truly hope this time next year I will be able to spend the Holidays with someone special, always looking, and hoping. In the mean time it’s me and the girls and of course my work. Speaking of my work, I’m blessed with great co-workers and a job. It is so hard out there these days and I thank God each and every day for the opportunity to go in and work with such great people. The day is winding down, and I’m pretty tired. I have been packing throughout the day and actually laughing at all the stuff I have found along the way. Most of the things I found brought back such good memories, and of course had me asking a few questions as to why they didn’t last. Obviously you can ask why, but you may not get the answer you are looking for, so just take each day as it comes and make the best of it. Maybe one day it will work out and I can sit back when I’m 90 and give a big thanks to the Lord above on the path he set me on. Until then, I still give thanks and hope that one day I can share all of this with the one who will be with when I do hit 90. 🙂

Loving the Weather!

Well, it has been a beautiful past two days. I was lucky enough to have them off, and took advantage of them both. I got an early start on my summer tan and started running again. I feel really good, and  happy with the way my life is going right now. It has been a rough couple of weeks, loosing a good friend and coping with all the unanswered questions. But I have to say, he has given me a greater respect for life, and a determination to live it to the fullest, with no regrets. I now believe that if you truly want something bad enough, don’t put it off till tomorrow,  because you may not have a tomorrow. So with that being said, I’m planning for some up and coming trips, excursions, and so forth. I have Maine or even Key West in my sights, and will be getting my passport here soon for some out of the country travel, “God willing”. My job keeps me so busy that I can’t think at times, and my kids let me know it. But with this demanding job also comes the benefits of being able to afford these up and coming excursions. I thank the Lord each and every day for the opportunity to hold my own, pay off my debt, and give my kids much more now, than I could a year ago. Yes, it’s almost a year now that I have been with the Sheriffs Department. I was hired May 16, of last year. I’m surprised I have lasted this long. There were times when I just wanted to walk out, being locked in for 12 hours is not for everyone. Enough with that, so the weather has been awesome. I have a long weekend coming up, but will plan on getting out and about on Monday or Tuesday. It’s nice to know your schedule at least for a while, that way I can plan for some great adventures. I have a life’s to do list going, and I must complete some if not all before I get so old, that I forget what I have even done.

This past weekend was so much fun. I was able to get out of the house and spend some time with a really great person and listen to some good music at the pub. I even had a chance to do some shooting, even if it was with my phone. It doesnt matter what I shoot with, when I get in that mode I’m unstoppable. I hope that I get the chance to do it again and have as much fun, if not more. This little town I live in is my home. I really can’t see myself living anywhere else, well except Denver, but that may come later, after the girls graduate and move out. Life is so short, and I need to grab whatever I can that makes me happy, makes my kids happy, and just run with it.

Hopefully soon, I can buy a new camera and get out and REALLY shoot. I love photography, its my stress reliever and bringing home hundreds of photos just have that one perfect shot, is exhilarating. I have so many plans running through my head, I have no idea which one I want to do first. It’s great knowing that I can actually do them, eventually. Well it’s about that time and I must sign off for now.

From the words of a very good friend….

“Life isn’t about the 9-5 job. Breathe out and live your life. Take off with no destination. See the world, don’t trap yourself in your little reality. Life is short and has no point. So make your life count for You. Act on every impulse with no Regrets”.

Ross Rogers….  Miss U!!

Happy Thanksgiving.

What am I thankful for this year? First and foremost my family. My family keeps me grounded and stable through the hard times which were many this past year. Family is very important to me and without them I would be in a whole world of hurt right now

Second my friends. Friends are a big part of my life. They tell me if I’m being paranoid or to go for it when I have doubts. Friends are the backbone to life’s long journey. They are their for you when you are down, when you succeed, and when you fail. They do not judge and are quick to tell you what you are doing wrong. Without my friends I would not be who I am today. Friendships may come and go but the lasting impressions of them will be with me forever.





“A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often – just to save it from drying out completely.
Pam Brown


Third, my kids. They are my life and keep me on my toes 24/7. They are the reason why I do what I do. Everything is for them and making them happy is an everyday process. Without my kids there would be no me.

“There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.” Henry Ward Beecher.

Even though they drive me crazy most of the time, without them around my mind wonders and I’m a dangerous person when my mind wonders. They keep me in check and I cannot see my life without them. I love them dearly.

This is only part of what I am thankful for this year. There is so many things but these are on the top of my list. The new year is fast approaching and I hope that this year will be much better, full of laughter, love, and prosperity. I hope I can make new and lasting friendships, relationships, and more while holding on to the ones that I do have. HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL.. God Bless. 🙂

“Patience is a Virtue”

When I was in the 8th grade my parents were in a horrific motorcycle accident. I thank God each day that they survived. When I was going through this tough time in my life, I had a teacher that gave me a stepping stone for the future. He told me that “Patience is a Virtue” and although I didn’t understand it then, I do now. If there is anything in this world that you want the most, it’s worth being patient for. It is also worth fighting for. This week was filled with multiple tasks that some I have yet to finish.

My semester has come into full swing with lesson plans, lesson objectives, diversified projects, teaching practicums, observations, ect.. On Monday I’m teaching my very first lesson plan, in Math. 🙂 It’s for the third grade so it can’t be that bad. All these lesson plans are driving me insane though. I know they are necessary and useful but come on, can’t they be just a bit shorter.

But as I was saying before, if you want something bad enough you need to be patient and strong. I want to become a teacher, and succeed at it. So if doing this and going insane in the process works then, I’ll be patient and still complain now and then.

I think that goes for anything that you want out of life. Life comes with its strange and unusual twists and turns. It’s not about how many of them you have it’s how many of them you can make it through.

This weekend is Valentines Day. In earlier years this day really didn’t mean much too me at all. It was just a weekend filled with couples holding hands, going out to dinner, movies, candy, balloons, and flowers… Ugggghhhh

Now I find myself wanting these things and more. I want to make that extra effort to see him smile, or just to see him at all. And this is where my road leads yet again, straight to patience. If you want something bad enough you have to be patient and, fight for it when it becomes necessary. Never thought I would want something as bad a this.. Don’t get me wrong I’ve had some great people in my life and I have no regrets because they made me who am today. This is different, “VERY COMPLICATED” but different. I will keep trying and be as patient as possible.

Here is my favorite love letter from Ludwig van Beethoven:

I must close, so that you may receive the letter immediately. Be calm; for only by calmly considering our lives can we achieve our purpose to live together – be calm – love me – Today – yesterday – what tearful longing for you – for you – you – my life – my all – all good wishes to you – Oh, do continue to love me – never misjudge your lovers most faithful heart.
ever yours
ever mine
ever ours

🙂 🙂


Looking Back on 2009..

This past year has been filled with many ups and downs. I have lost two friends and gained many more. I’m not quite sure where this year has gone, but it has been a year to remember. Life moves in mysterious ways and only God knows what path you are to follow. My divorce was final this year, Julia started middle school and Michelle finally made the Honor roll at school. I have had some major economical setbacks and with having no job opportunities has left me penny pinching everyday. My kids do come first but I try to keep my spirits up and hope that one day someone will come along who will be there for me, and want to be there. I have many close friends and I thank God each and everyday for them.

My brother Charlie became a new daddy this past month. Alexis Jade Dockins, 4lbs, 16oz, 17 inches long.. She is the tinest thing, her head can fit in the palm of my hand. 

I’m so proud of him and he is so happy. Both of my brothers have made better lives for themselves. My sister and her family are doing well as always. Her husband was accepted to the Greenwood police department, OOHHRAH!!!.

I finished up my first semester at ECU and about to jump into another one. This next semester will be a tough one. I have to teach five lessons this year, it should be interesting. I’m done with Carteret Community College finally, and I am on my way to big and better things.

I will leave you with some pictures of this past year.. Can’t wait for 2010… 🙂

Catholic Baptism

Cedar Point Camping

Myrtle Beach Excursion

Flanners Beach Camping

The Point


Letting Go….


A friend of mine passed away this morning. He has been struggling over a year from a motorcycle accident and was on his way to recovery when things got worse. He was a very special person and he was a good friend. He will be deeply missed.


Going to the PUB, to say farewell.

Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.
Author Unknown

Love You……..