December is Upon Us!!

December 1st of 2010 is finally upon us. As I sit here and of course update my blog I think back through the years on how many of my Christmases’ have been spent. Some good, some bad but all memorable. This year my girls and I are leaving for Arkansas on the 17 to spend some time with family, and then they fly to see their dad on the 22. I myself will be coming back to NC to spend Christmas here. Whether it will be alone or with family and great friends is too soon to tell. Either way I will make the best of it, I’m in need of some much-needed down time. I will not recollect on how bad this year has been, I have already done that in many of my previous posts. I think that I will instead look at the positives even if they are few and far between. January was rough with the passing of my grandpa (mom’s dad) but I made it through and was able to spend a couple of days in Denver with my Grandmother and family. The girls had the chance to see their great cousins ans so forth which was good. Many memorable moments from that trip. The summer rolled around with more turmoil but I was able to make it out to Arkansas with my brother and his family for a lengthy visit, which needless to say I needed very much. Much emotions and having to say goodbye to my grandfather (dad’s dad) was hard. The summer flew by as fall set in and I finally came to terms on being alone, and actually embraced it in full force. I finally was able to enjoy not having to worry about the things that come with being in a relationship. I get attached fairly easy, so I have learned to take it much slower and wait and see how things pan out. My sister had her daughter and my brother finally got married, leaving me the only single one in the family. Struggling through the fall with the passing of my last grandfather has been tough but with that being said I have met and held onto some extraordinary people along the way. Now that December is here I find myself wanting a relationship, someone to share my ups and downs with. I’m not saying that I need it, what I am saying is I’m ready to get my feet wet. I’m ready to find that one person who is right for me & right for my kids. The one person who wants me and all my faults, my passions & my love. It’s tough out there these days and even tougher when you go at it alone. So December is here, the new year is around the corner, and I’m crossing my fingers it will be much better. I’m hoping for a brand new start, a new beginning to the rest of my life.