Summer is almost over and even though I have had a great one, I’m looking forward to sitting on the beach in my pullover watching the waves roll in. This is the best time of the year in my opinion. All the tourists are gone and the beaches are bare. You can walk around and not have to worry about bumping into people every five seconds. This is the best time to sit and think about everything. This year is almost over as well, I’m not quite sure where it has gone to but, it has been a good summer visiting with family and friends. I have also been able to reconnect with myself. In all actuality I have never been alone (without significant other) before. I have been single now for about 5 months and love it. I have no commitments other than my kids and myself. I’m not sure if I’m ready to jump into any kind of relationship right now but I’m keeping my eyes and mind open and living each day as if it were my last. With relationships come a huge amount of dedication, truthfulness, time, and of course patience. The feelings of is he going to call, is he thinking about me, what is he doing, and does he feel the same way, is not on my mind anymore, at least not now. Not having these kinds of things in my head makes me feel……. free in some way.
I have come to enjoy my own company which I can honestly say I would never have thought that I would. I can concentrate on becoming someone for myself instead of someone for someone else. I feel the need to find me again. With that being said, I do enjoy the company of others as well but without the distractions to worry about. Maybe in time I will let go and start dating again. Maybe I can let myself love again….. As for right now, I’m okay with the way things are. My kids have my undivided attention and that matters the most. They started a new school year and already they are talking about boys they like… Uggghhh what to do with that one?? Anyway Bring on the cold, looking forward to the quietness of the beaches in the fall weather, sipping on some coffee and watching the sunrise and sunsets.
“Most people can look back over the years and identify a time and place at which their lives changed significantly. Whether by accident or design, these are the moments when, because of a readiness within us and a collaboration with events occurring around us, we are forced to seriously reappraise ourselves and the conditions under which we live and to make certain choices that will affect the rest of our lives”. Frederick F. Flack