Looking For Some Peace and Quiet……

img_0035As I said before, it is getting to the point where I just need to get away for awhile. Somewhere with no interruptions no worries and definitely no kids. I love my kids don’t get me wrong, but I need some much needed down time. Summer is coming and I plan on going to Arkansas towards the end of June. I’m going to try to stay for a couple of days, while visiting with family and catching up with old friends. I might stay in Ashville on my way back and do some white water river rafting, and maybe stay in a cabin some where in the mountains before heading back to the coast. This will be the extent of my summer I suppose, with money and time being limited I can’t do the things that I truly wish to do.

7874_world_earth_globe_mascot_cartoon_character_kicking_a_soccer_ballSoccer is kicking in for the girls, and our weekends are consumed with games and church and much more. I have a lot going on through the months of March and April and once May hits I might be able slow down a bit. I’m starting to go back to the gym and it feels great. I feel refreshed and much more attentive during the day. College is still an on going process and will be for a very long while. My sister is getting married in March and I’m so happy for her. She is doing well and her son (my nephew) is also doing well. I guess I can say that my life, even though it is consumed by so much, is going well too. I’m starting over, and it looks to be like a good beginning.

Today is Ash Wednesday and I will be taking the girls to the 7’o’clock mass. This will be our first celebration of Ash Wednesday and I’m looking forward to it. I hope that everyone has a great and blessed day. ash-wednesday

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The Finish Line….

img_0060l It is Sunday night and I have a little glimpse of an internet signal so I’m taking the opportunity to update my blog. It’s been a pretty hectic month and from here on out until April, I will be busy, busy, busy. My life has been like a Nascar Race, going around in circles with brief pit stops along the way. I find myself trying to reach the finish line still intact. Mid March will be my breaking point to the finish line hopefully. After April, my life will start over, my divorce will be final, I will be part of a community of great people and a loving God. Also, my lease is up and I can choose to stay or go. I have been looking around for a house to rent, needless to say I need more space. The apartment is ok, but the girls need something bigger and a better area. There are no kids here that they can play with and me well I’m feeling a little bit confined. I love Swansboro, it’s quiet and the sunset and sunrises are beautiful, breathtaking as a matter of fact. But who knows what will happen tomorrow. I’m keeping my eyes and heart open to new adventures. I have the love of my family and friends to guide me through what ever life may bring. Life can bring some unexpected changes and ones that you wait patiently for. So, it’s early in the evening and I need to eat. If you know me, well I like to eat. Okay so…… hope everyone had a great Valentines day with the one they love.

Until Next Time….. Take Care and Keep Smiling. 🙂

ALL I WANT……

It has been a long week and I’m doing an early post. Normally I update on the weekends but, I’m here at the coffee shop and it’s warm and well I’ve decided to do a post. I have been reading a lot lately and found a book called The Secret. secrets

It is very interesting to say the least. Basically if you follow what the book tells you to do, you can obtain about anything you want out of life.  ??????????  Really not sure about that one. I’m pretty sceptical about it, to just admit to yourself what you want and keep saying that to yourself and eventually you will get it.  Yes I agree on keeping a positive attitude, but there are certain things that you can work so hard for and you just can’t obtain it. But I’m not saying to not try. You have to at least try. SO…. I’d like to know who has read this book and has obtained what they were asking for. Feel free to reply I’m interested in hearing some feed back on this topic. 🙂

Feeling Rundown………….

100_2865 It’s Super Bowl Sunday and I’m sitting at the coffee shop getting my Internet fix as usual. This has been a hectic weekend to say the least. I have no plans for the evening so I have decided to take the girls to MacDaddy’s for dinner, games and some football. Football for me of course, I’m not into the whole gaming thing.

I received my test scores from the Praxis on Friday, not sure if I’m headed in the right direction. My scores aren’t that good. I’m not a great test taker. I was stressing about it and decided to not think about it until Monday because there really wasn’t anything I could do until then. Friday night was nice and quite, warm, and relaxing. By Saturday we were up and on the move to a pool party which wore me out. We left the party at 3:30 and made it to Jasmins (girls friend) by 4:30. I than came home and sat back and had some wine and cheese. I went next door and had some pizza and some more drinks with my neighbors and made it back home at around 11. I was so tired and just not feeling myself for some reason and I couldn’t fall asleep at all, but when I finally did the phone rang and it was Julia crying.

100_2607Julia was born on September 21, 1998. Since than she has been in and out of the hospital on numerous occasions. When she was 3 months old she had to undergo surgery in Chapel Hill for a hernia that was attached to her ovaries. Before they diagnosed it was a hernia she had to go through so many tests. Her dad and I were told that she could have possibly been a boy because it could have been an undescended testicle. You could have only imagined what I was thinking. (Quack Doctors)

She had so many problems with UTI’s and had to go through painful blood tests and kidney test that are so painful that they had to strap her down to keep her from moving. I be live she was around five when she started having these problems. She overcame these obstacles and we started to think positive .

September 21, 2006, she just turned eight years old and was on her way. Halloween was around the corner and she was getting all excited. Than she came down with an infection which was nothing to worry about and it was very treatable. So her dad took her to the doctor that day. I’m sitting at home and I get a phone call and it’s Tim and he is upset and tells me that Julia has been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and she has to be rushed to Greenville to be admitted ASAP. I couldn’ t think much less talk, so I packed up some bags and Michelle and headed to the Naval Hospital.

100_0415 I was still in school and Michelle was in school as well. My marriage was on the rocks and now I have this on top of everything else in my life. We make it to the hospital and Julia looks terrible, Tim looks terrible obviously. We sat there for about three hours running tests after tests. The doctors were setting up appointments and getting her admitted to ECU Peds unit in Greenville. It tore me apart but I stayed back with Michelle and made sure she made it to school and home, while Tim rode up in the ambulance to Greenville. She was admitted and had to stay for about a week. Everyone had to be trained on the medicine procedures, nutritional aspects and so much more.

It’s now 2009 and Julia will be 11 years old this year. She has had her ups and down with this disease and it breaks my heart to see her so frustrated when it comes to the whole thing. So I had to rush her to the hospital early this morning around 2:30 and I knew what was wrong. Again another infection which was very common with having Type 1 diabetes. She was so uncomfortable and we were all tired and fell asleep in the ER. We got everything under control and made it home by 6:30. We crashed as soon as we came through the door, got up around 8:30 went to church came back home and I fell asleep again. The girls on the other had felt great and played outside all day. It’s now 6:11 and we are about to head out to watch the Super Bowl.  It’s been a tough weekend and I just hope that it will get better soon, I’m so run down and tired of all the mishaps and bumps in the road. I’m trying as hard as I can to make what I have worth all the pain, and anxiety. I have a lot to be thankful for though, and even if things get rough I have great support. I found out last night that one of my best friends is coming back into town in a couple of weeks. Laura will be back ,  I can’t wait. 100_1530