I’ve come to a realization today. I realized that until this day I did not know how much church and the christian faith would affect me. I found myself racing back to church so I would not miss Sunday mass, knowing that if I did I would feel an emptiness all day. At this point I’m not quite sure on how to explain this but in time I know I will. Me and my girls are on a new road in life, a very good one I should say. I’m at a different place in my life now. I feel myself growing and even though I have a lot of tough times ahead, I can rely on my friends, family and now I can trust in God for guidance. I sit here and write this and still feel amazed at what I am saying. We are learning about the Catholic traditions and the sacraments, among so many different things. I had quite a few questions answered for me today and it has lifted my spirits just to be able to know these things for the first time. I have a very special friend of mine that has pointed me in this great direction in life. Whether God has put him there for this purpose or another I don’t know, but living each day as it comes and knowing God is becoming a part of who I am and who my kids will be is a blessing in disguise. I’m very thankful on the path that I have chosen and I would not have changed anything.
It’s been a long and slow weekend. Julia and Michelle have been sick pretty much the whole weekend , so we have been playing games and watching free episodes of Smallville on line (Love the Internet). Yes I’m a Smallville fanatic, I have been without cable for almost a year now, which I can honestly say it has been great. Well, except for football, nascar and Smallville. 🙂 I’m now sitting here, the girls have had dinner (my famous chili) and I, well typing away telling my life’s story. My mother asks me why in the world do I tell everyone in God’s creation about my life. I simply say, it is a release. I’m not here to ramble and whine about my life just to express it in a way that is most effective for me. My feelings tend to stay within me and that in return causes me great stress. If someone wants to read this fine, comment on this fine, I’m OK with it. My true friends know who I am and what kind of person I am and will always be. I will always change but for the good I hope.
So with that said, I also sent out both of my applications this weekend to kick start my new future.. My application for ECU and the application for the Wachovia Education Program through ECU. This program will start in the fall this year. Also, the girls joined the Swansboro Soccer Association and will be starting practice probably toward the end of the month. They have been playing soccer and baseball, softball since they can walk. This is just something else to keep me busy, they wanted to play and I’m not going to say no. So this weekend has been slow, but productive. I will continue to read and learn more about the Catholic Church and await the day that me and my girls will be brought into a new life and another new beginning. I look forward to what ever this new year and new path will bring.
I leave this evening with a verse that I have uncovered along the way to a newer and brighter future. April will be a true turning point in our lives, in more ways than one.
God is love, and those who live in love, live in union with God and God lives in union with them. I John 4:16
And so when we open our heart to another, we open it to God as well
Food for thought… 🙂