A Week of Total Body, Mind, & Soul Immersion…..

Ocracoke NC


The past week has been a total soul immersion that I can honestly say I have never had. Anytime that I think I might have some time to relax I’m always worrying about something. The past week has been amazing, full of photography, great food, great company and the most amazing weather I have ever seen. The island was pretty much engulfed with fog for about three days, leaving some stranded, to wait and hope the ferry was up and running the next day. img_0161


The way the fog just rolled in in a matter of minutes felt like something straight out of a movie. It was eary and surreal but it made the stay and the photographing experience much more interesting. We were lucky that it didn’t rain on us and that we had every opportunity to appreciate the island and the weather conditions that it had to offer.

It was rough to see the girls go and to be alone for the first time in my life for Christmas Eve, but I was able to turn it all around and start my long week of nothing but breathing and enjoying my surroundings. It’s been a memorable Christmas holiday to say the least. With all the photographing, I was also able to start a new book and now I can’t seem to put it down. I need to read more and think less, and keep my mind free.100_2473 I’m sitting here at the house after a weekend on Ocracoke thinking about the great time that I had, knowing that to have that kind of immersion will be far and few between. To totally have a since of calmness is good for the soul and mind. I’m going to try to start a new chapter in my life and hope that it will continue to be a great adventure.

I look back at the past year and I’m very thankful for the gifts in my life, whether it be my girls or my special friendships that I have made or continued to have throughout this year. 2008 has come and gone in a blink of an eye and I have had many moments where I thought I wouldn’t make it.

My life has changed and it will continue to change with everyday that passes. I will continue to struggle with life, love, and trying to raise my kids the best way I know how but also keeping my friends close to my heart and be there when they need me the most, because they are always there when I need them. Everyone tends to make mistakes in their lives and all we can do is try to move forward and learn from them. I sit here at the house alone and wonder and hope that this year will be different, better.

My biggest new years resoluton will be not to dwell on things I cannot change but to just be me and cherish everyone that I have in my life. Moments are what make memories last forever and I found a quote that I have now embodied my self with and hope that it will keep my mind free from drifting away.

“The way to forever is one day at a time”.


I think that says it all. I need to realize that that is all we have, one day at a time. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. This whole body and soul immersion was I think a turning point in my life. It’s weird to, I think back at all the times that I have taken a couple days off and immersed myself in something and I end up coming back with a new way of thinking. My hope is that I will accomplish what I set my mind to this year. Hope that I can share my good times and bad times with someone special whomever that may be. Like I said who knows what will happen tomorrow. My mind is open for anything and even though times are going to be rough my family and friends are beside me 100%


Gasping for air…

Until Next Time…. Always Remember to Smile 🙂

Ocracoke Photos are located On my Travel Page Enjoy!!!!!

Alone on a Sunday Morning…

I had an eventful week to say the least. I finished up work on Thursday and started packing for Julia and Michelle’s trip to Indiana to see their dad. Thursday night their Uncle and Hannah came over for some dinner and for some pre Christmas gift unwrapping. Julia received the new Spiderwick books, which by the way she has already read book 1 and will work on book 2 when she comes back home. She is such an avid book reader I’m so proud of her. Michelle also received books that I thought she would like and she did. She isn’t into books that much, but she is getting there slowly.

100_2388Charlie brought over the Guitar Hero for them from the whole family. They went crazy and of course they wanted to play it right away but it was getting late so we watched Harry and the Henderson’s 🙂 I can’t remember the last time I seen that movie and it was so funny to watch the girls enjoy it. It was a good night and we had a lot of food to eat, I haven’t cooked for many people in awhile so it was nice to get into the kitchen and prepare a pretty good sized meal. I love cooking even though I am not so conceptual with it I still have fun none the less. Usually I will put some good music on turn it up grab a glass of wine or beer and cook away, I relax that way knowing I’m having family and friends over. . The night went well and I can say that the girls had a great time.

100_2390 As you can tell Michelle wouldn’t let go of the game. I will be hooking it up while they are away so they can play it when they get back. I’m planning on getting a TV and cable as an extra surprise for them. I myself can survive without TV, although I do miss watching nascar and football at times but these days TV is just sad. There is too much for me to worry about in my life than to turn on the TV and get bombarded with all the crap that is going on in this world that is out of my control. But anyway enough with that, Friday was a good day also. “Santa” 🙂 dropped off a few gifts for Julia and Michelle and this was the highlight of the night.

100_2414They were so excited and insisted on riding them, even in the dark. With helmets and all they took off down the road to shoe thieir friend who was leaving on Saturday. They all came riding the bikes up and down the road screaming and laughing and having such a good time. Patrick looked like he had a great time also, just being able to “Deliver” 🙂 the bikes made his day as well. So we all sat back later had some dinner and watched the girls open the rest of their gifts and just took the night in. 100_2419


100_2416Everyone seemed to have fun and we all were able to enjoy an early Christmas celebration even though it was small and not so traditional. My life has changed and I have to start my own traditions now I suppose, and if I can get family and great friends together to celebrate them with that is all that matters to me. Having the people that mean the most to you around during these special moments is what makes life worth while. Knowing the girls had a great time and the see the smiles on their faces is all I need to get me through the day.

After everything was said and done their Uncle dropped them off to see a friend before leaving for Raleigh the next day. I in the mean time cleaned up the mess at the house, finished packing, and went out for a beer or two…. Went to my favorite place the Yacht club, spent some down time with Patrick, we (or he) kicked butt playing pool, met some good people and again had some free food. It’s always nice to just hang out and enjoy the atmosphere with the people around you.

100_2421Saturday morning came too fast, and I thought I was ready to say goodbye, even if it was only for a week or two. I can honestly say I don’t know how I would be if I couldn’t see my girls on a regular basis. This makes me think about their dad and what he has to go through each and every day without them. Makes me sad but we try to cope and I do everything I can to give them chances to be together. I left that morning to pick them up and head up to the airport in Raleigh. Their flight wasn’t scheduled to leave until 3 and we got there at about 1 which gave us time to check in and eat some lunch before boarding.

100_2426 We found a little place by the terminals and sat down and had a bite to eat. Julia loves her A&W… We all had hamburgers and french fries.. Gotta have the fries, they are my favorite. We finished up and walked down to the gates, just to find out that their flight had been delayed. So we found a place to sit and waited.

100_2431Michelle fell asleep while Julia finished up her book that she just got the night before. it was going on 3 and the plane was on it’s way. So I took out my little point and shoot and just started to take funny pictures. Michelle woke up and deceded to act silly while Julia well just was Julia.



100_2439 The plane finally arrived and I could feel my throat tighten and I knew that if I said one word I would loose it. They announced for all passengers with preboarding slips to come up first and we walked up to the gates. I gave them both a big hug and kiss and told them that I loved them, trying to hold back the tears. Julia asked if I was going to be alone for Christmas, I said no and that I wanted them to have fun with daddy and that i will call them later. Michelle was so excited and was intent on getting on the plane, as for Julia she kepted looking backwards as she walked down the entrance to the plane to see if I was still there. I regrouped and waited for their plane to load. As soon as it started to taxi onto the runway the tightness came back into my throat and as I looked at plane take off I turned around with tears in my eyes and walked away.

And that was my day, it was a lot harder than I had imagined and now even as I write this a few tears come down. I will see them in a week but for me it will feel like forever. We all in all honesty need a break though and they need to be with their dad. So with all this going on, I am now ready for a shower and church. Hopefully the day will clear up and I can get moving. It is supposed to get colder here in the next few days so I have to prepare for that, also hoping to get out of this house and possibly leave for a couple of days. Do some shooting and relaxing and just breathe.

Until Next Time, Always Remember to Smile.


Almost Break Time..

It’s the end of another work week. This past week has been hard, full of goodbyes and lots of unanswered questions. My friends are all on thier way or already to accomplishing new things. Saying goodbye is never easy and although it gets better in time, goodbye is still goodbye. But I can say this that when it is time to say hello again in that one and awaiting moment everything seems to turn out right. There are many obstacles that have to be overcome to acheive what you strive for and put your heart into. Me and the girls spent the weekend together just being lazy and going to the pub and enjoying each other. They leave for their dads this coming weekend. Even though it is Christmas and I would love for them to be with me, I and I know they need a break from each  other. I love them dearly but being a single mom with really no one to just take them for a weekend is very hard. Me time is very hard to come by.

100_2377We went out today and the three of us got our hair cuts. Feels great to change something and start fresh again. Going to start going to the gym and getting back into shape. Iv’e actually lost five pounds, but have no idea where it went. Must be the stress amongst other things. :

Looking forward to the break and having some time to go out and enjoy the area and take lots of photos and sleep in and go out and have a beer when I want to. I’m very excited.

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I have to finish up some work on Monday and Tuesday than it’s time for a break. I have finished my Christmas shopping and will probably have a little family get together on Friday. Julia and Michelle will open gifts and we will sit back have some wine and dinner and relax. Than Saturday I will take them to the airport.It’s kind of scary that they will be flying by themselves.  But it’s only an hour and they will be taken care of. With that said, I’m pretty tired, so I will get going for now.

Until next time, take care and Keep Smiling 🙂

Saying Goodbye

100_2346This weekend has been filled with celebration of a new business and saying goodbye to some great friends. Goodbyes never seem to get easier, but I know that with the way technology is today we will never loose touch with one another. It has been a great ride and I hope that they all to will find their place and enjoy the next big adventure. I enjoyed the time spent with the ones I care most about and it was nice to see everyone smile and relax and not worry about whatever is going on other than spending time with friends. Two more weeks of work and Christmas break is here. Girls will be leaving on the 20th and we plan on having a little get together on the 19th to celebrate Christmas with their Uncle and possibly some special friends. Need to get some more shopping done and I can honestly say that I will be finished  with all the shopping.  All in all it was a good weekend. Time well spent. Going to go to church today and  spend some more quality time with some friends. Get some pictures taken of me and the girls for some Christmas cards and their dad and we will call it a day.  100_2351

Special and Dear Friends……….