Baseball season is over for my oldest. It has been a roller coaster season but fun none the less. This will be the last time for both of them to play for the White Oak Youth league and it is quite hard to believe that this chapter of our lives are over. She and her sister will be going to Queens Creek elementary in August so this will be a big adjustment for the three of us, being as though they will be moving in with me soon. It’s time for me to get them situated for a new school year and situate myself with the fact that my school year is almost complete.
I have been putting together a book for her coach and will be sending it out soon. Going through all the pictures of the past years we have been in Jacksonville and beyond is a bit rough. I did have a great life than but now I must look to the future and look at what is best for my girls. I have always had a dream of what my life was supposed to be, and this was not the dream I had envisioned. Life takes on some dramatic changes and to overcome them is the challenge. Their dad is leaving for Indiana soon and this will be the toughest thing for all of us. It will be a new start for me and Tim but Julia and Michelle will miss their dad and that makes me hurt. But with that said the technology these days will be a blessing.
They can see him and visit with him via internet chat using. May not be the same but it is better than nothing at all. I’m pretty flexible with the fact that he is a good dad and deserves too see his girls when he can. I won’t take that from him.
I will keep my mind free and try to take each day at a time and try my hardest to make my girls happy. It is going to be hard but we have been here before in a way. Life is fragile and you definitely don’t want to miss it. One minute you are here and the next you are there. The question is, is it there where you want to be? I must confess that I do not know where I want to be except that if where ever I am I wish to be happy, and know that my girls are loved and cared for. They are my life, and we are a package deal for anyone who wishes to venture our way.
For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment.
Spent Thusday night at the Kinston Indians game with a bunch of fabulous freinds. It’s hard to get everyone together these days and for just a couple of hours we all laughed and talked and had a great time. With the lines being so long and the heat from the sun bearing down it was just long enough for us to get the shots we needed.
So we took off and did what we knew best, shoot, shoot, shoot. We were led by our fearless leader in crime and the master of art himself Patrick Keough. Podcasting as he goes and haveing fun in doing it no doubt. Going here and there to get the perfect angles we all roamed. It was fun and I hope to do it again or just get together with everyone every once in awhile and share stories and laugh and play.
Friday night was interesting to say the least. Met up with some friends and had a couple of beers and some good food. Joked about the Marine Corps and talked about Nascar. We sat there watching the qualifying for the Sanoma Rd race on Sunday, Kasey Khane took the pole.. (Better than Kyle Busch) I’m still trying to adjust to all of the new feelings that come with being alone. It’s getting better, and surviving is all that I can do for the moment. Think I will relax today, maybe go out to the beach this afternoon or to the pier, who knows. This week should be the week Tim figures out if he is leaving for Indiana or not, he is still undecided. We will see, me well as I said before I’m a work in progress waiting for the moments that take my breath away. 🙂
The days are getting hotter and longer as they go by and are filled to the brim with work, family, ect…When the day ends and I find myself alone, it’s night like these that just makes me happy that I’m here. My kids are healthy, family is doing well, friends are still my friends which is always good and I’m on may way to graduating. This summer has been a little weird, everyone is doing there own thing and trying to survive just as I. So looking out at the view I can say that I feel alone, confused, but happy that soon it will all turn out for the best. It never really falls into place from what Iv’e been told but I can only hope for a better tomorrow.
“I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.”
So I decided to take a stroll out to Bouge Pier this evening to kill some time, and relax. It just got through raining and usually it is humid and hot but it was nice and the breeze coming off the water was almost sensual.I had my camera (never leave home without it) and was taking some shots from the pier. Jelly fish were everywhere and people were catching fish left and right. So I’m taking pictures and enjoying the smell of the sea and the mist of the water blowing off the ocean, and hitting my face when all of a sudden I see people run to the other side of the pier, so I in turn head that way. And this is amazing sight…..
A school of sting ray just minding their own business and taking a stroll as well in the Atlantic. There must have been about 50 or more and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I’ve seen one or two sting ray, in an aquarium of course but never like this. It was breathtaking, and made my evening. I absolutely love it here, the beaches, piers, the people. It’s my home, and I love it.
Spent Friday evening on the Morehead City waterfront with the girls. Not much going on and wasn’t able to catch a glimpse of any Marlins. Although it was slow we had a good time, hung out and watched the fireworks. Had dinner at the Ice house and some ice cream to chill us out a little. The girls were able to get their pictures on line, check out the link Right Here We are popularTook Julia, Michelle and their friend out to the Mud Bog on Saturday, whewww it was a hot one. Wasn’t that good this week, but they had fun.
It’ Sunday morning and I’m lying in bed contemplating my life once again. Girls are asleep and will be up and moving here soon. Today is Fathers Day so they will go over to their Dads later. I really have nothing planned for today, going to do a little work and probably clean my house. Oh, and finally start putting my dresser together.
Sunday’s are hard for me, I’m not exactly sure why. Graduation is around the corner and in a way I’m ready. I’m ready to get my life in order and hopefully, finally, be able to move on. It always gets worse before it gets better and I am so ready for the better. I’ve lost touch with someone special here in the past month and I hope to regain that connection soon. I think this is the piece that is missing, even though my life is crazy, knowing that we can talk to one another and bring about a feeling of tranquility was always nice. We have a way to make each other smile when we need it the most and smiles are hard to come by these days. Not sure on if the feelings are mutual anymore, but our friendship is strong and Determination and Persistence (to a certain extent) is the key to achieving what you want. Okay so it’s a never ending battle and we all need to just let go and live for those moments. Sometimes what you really need is right in front of you and you just can’t see it. Open your eyes and heart and live, or you truly can’t enjoy the time spent here on Earth. I’m ready to live, how about YOU?.
Well time to cook some breakfast and get started on the day………………………
HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO ALL OF THE FABULOUS FATHERS OUT THERE.
Until Next Time Take Care and Keep Smiling 🙂
The Big Rock Marlin Tournament is this weekend and I had an opportunity to spend the evening with some friends on Wednesday. I don’t know much about this tournament, but it seems to me that it is a pretty big deal. It’s something that I would love to try, sitting on a boat out in the middle of the ocean waiting for the big one. We had a good time, and it was nice to get all dressed up and eat some great food and mingle with all of the anglers. I don’t get all dressed up very often and it was different for me, must do it more often.
Met some good people and had a great time.
Me and the girls are going out tonight to see if we can catch a glimpse of a Blue Marlin being brought in to be weighed so I will add more photos this evening.
My life right now is kind of upside down and I’m feeling a little bit lost at the moment.
Julia and Michelle’s dad has been given orders to Indiana for 3yrs and he is still debating over that one. I’m very saddened by this just for the fact that they will miss him dearly. With everything going on right now they tend to cling to him and it hurts sometimes. Every time I feel things are looking up something brings me back down. I still feel that I’m missing one more piece to the puzzle. I find myself searching and searching but to just come up empty handed. My heart cant take much more of the constant aching for life to get better. It’s lonely here in this big world and my mind is full of what if’s and why’s. Again I have no answers, hopefully this weekend will get better.
Until Next Time Take Care and Keep Smiling 🙂
I’m up again, and it’s late into the evening. I can say that I had a good day though. It was a little rough this morning, waking up to an empty house. I’m so used to being with my girls that I wanted to hug and kiss Michelle the moment I woke up to tell her Happy Birthday and how much I love her. Even though I was able to talk to her, it still wasn’t the same. It’s her 8th birthday, seems odd to me that she is this old already. She is bigger than her older sister and almost as tall as I am (Scary). Birthday went well, we all went out as a family with no arguing and had a good night.
Took her to Golden Coral, than to Chucky Cheese to play some games.After all the fun at Chucky’s we headed back to the house where we had cake and opened presents. An uneventful but tranquil finish for the eveing.
I try to make everyday that I have my kids worth while. And I hope that they will understand that things do get better with time and happiness can be achieved. I love you Michelle and Happy Birthday.