So I’m up way past by bed time and I’m trying so desperately to sleep. My mind is racing about so many things right now I can’t seem to slow down. Had a rough night out, needless to say my personal life is in shambles. I can’t think straight tonight and even though I have family and friends that care I lean more towards this portable life line of mine. This mechanical box that with out it I would possibly just be. I’m working hard and diligently trying to make my girls happy and myself of course. It kills me to see them hurt in such a way, and I’m constantly telling myself that it’s not all my fault. My mind races and my heart is going into so many directions that sometimes I find myself wondering if maybe I should just walk away……………. I’m trying and it’s hard to KEEP a smile on my face when everything around me tends to fall apart. The two things that are keeping me afloat is one.. my girls.. and two.. my love and passion for my work (photography). These are the things that I live for and strive so hard for. Although I am struggling with my inner peace, I find comfort in knowing that I to have the support of few but precious people in my life. If I were to call them right now they would try to give me some kind of solitude in the goodness that life can bring and that it will get better in time. As you can see this is one of those dreadfull days and I hope that I can get past it. Weekend is near and I hope to see some of my friends so I can tell them how much they mean to me. With that said I will try to get some sleep tonight and start a fresh day tomorrow. Hopefully I can take my own advice and Keep Smiling 🙂
Until Next TIme, Live Every Moment Like It Was Your Last.
Well it looks as though Jr. will not win this one. Had it in the bag and pancaked the wall. But surprisingly enough he has made up some ground and finished in 5th place. Kasey Kahne brings in the checkered flag.
Jr. finishes out the night 3rd in points, still in the race for the chase and the season has just begun. He also led 76 laps and gets the points for leading the most laps.. 🙂
Time for Bed.. Until Next week.. Keep on Racin…
Ok so I have been away from my girls for the past week and including this weekend. For the first time I finally feel alone. Tried to occupy my time with work and some odds and ends but still to no avail,… alone.. I’m not saying that being alone is bad all I’m saying is that sometimes it’s good to have someone around.
Last night I had ventured out to the pub for some good food and good music. It was great, I was able to eat, drink, and even watch the Nationwide series (last year was the Busch seris). Met some wonderfull people and I am making quite a few new friends, looks like this is going to my stomping ground as you would say.
So today after a descent night, I tried to go to the beach, and well lets just say that I hate crowded beaches and that was just an understatement from what I have seen today.. I found a spot to sit for about an hour before I got tired of looking in circles and all I could see was people. At least I could say that I wasn’t alone today.
So I will try to go and find a place to sit and watch the Sprint Cup (Coca Cola 600) tonight in Charlotte NC. Lowes Motor Speedway.
Not quite sure where but we will see. I get to pick up the girls tomorrow and I get them all week, including the weekend. I’m looking forward to it. GO DALE JR..
Jump in and enjoy the time you have, take chances, live free and cherish each and every moment you have with the ones you love and hold true. One of these days they will be gone, tell them how you truly feel and how much they mean to you. Let them know everyday how special they are and how content you are to have them in your life. If you do this you will have such peace with yourself knowing that you are not alone.
Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
Time is winding down and the summer semester is about to begin. It seems as though I have lost something along the way and for one reason or another I can’t seem to find it. Not knowing what it is makes it even harder to find. It’s time to work hard and finish this part of my life and move on. I’m not doing so well with all of my issues these days. One minute I think that things are turning around and than I get the rug pulled out from beneath me. I’m definitely not the type of person to show my feelings, or even talk about them, it takes a special kind of person to bring it out of me and that in it’s self is hard to do. I’m to that point where I’m tired of trying and I just want to walk away from it all, start over where no one knows me, and that feeling scares me the most.
Even though I may have my bad days, I also have great days. So I Iook forward to my great days and time spent with my special friends and family who by all means, mean more to me in this hectic world we live in than anything else. Without the support and kindness of everyone I couldn’t do it alone, and I wouldn’t want too… So thank you to everyone who has played a part in my life and who will continue to play a part as long as time will allow.
Life is about challenges, unanswered questions, and taking chances. I myself need to take some chances and just let go….
I have to remind myself to smile these days … 🙂 It’s easier to give advice than to take your own.. I’m still working hard on that one.
“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and to try to love somebody and have the courage to accept love in return”.
In this so called life,
you don’t get the people you want,
you get people you need…
to teach you.
to hurt you.
to love you.
to make you cry.
to make you laugh.
to make you excatly the person you should be.
Choose a path that is right for you and that makes you smile each and every day 🙂
Finally had time to go out and just shoot. I ventured out to downtown Swansboro and than out to Emerald Isle (Bouge Pier) which is my favorite place to go to relax.
Bouge Pier Emerald Isle
The wind was killer though and the waves were huge. Very few fisherman were out on the pier but the surfers were taking advantage of the (gnarly) 🙂 waves.
The Irish Pub is one of my favorites, it is attached to the Deli & Coffee shop which serves the best BLT and Chips. The atmosphere is defiantly Irish, and from what I have been hearing around the area is that there are far and few between true Irish Pubs…. Hours vary though.
Well the weather is not cooperating much today, gloomy, wet and just plain nasty. I have the girls and they are enjoying the new PlayStation that I had bought just for these kinds of days. It’s pretty interesting but I’m still not sold on the whole gaming thing. I have grown accustomed to not having a TV.. I have a projector to watch movies every now and than and this is what they are using. I get my local news and everyday info from my computer.. A life without TV is not so bad, at least for me now my kids on the other hand that is a sore subject. (It’s good for them though) 🙂
Definitely don’t want them turning into a couch potato.
It came with two microphones and a pop star karaoke style game. You can sing for fun, compete with one another and see who can sing better or just have fun..
It’s keeping them pretty busy but driving me insane (what was I thinking)… 🙂
Not much to do when it is raining outside. So I guess I have to go with it and keep my mind busy without going crazy.. This is my last week of break and I will start my last semester of school. I have a couple of jobs lined up and hopefully I can keep myself going as long as I can.
To all of the Mother’s out there I wish everyone a very Happy Mother’s Day.
Baseball and Softball are in full swing and today was a good day for some America’s past time. Julia my oldest is the only girl on her baseball team for the third year in a row and is kicking butt like she always does.
Michelle is on a softball team for the first year and is struggling but she will prevail and overcome (she’s just like her mother). It has been a good weekend so far and hopefully the weather will hold back and me and the girls could possibly go out to the beach or some fishing tomorrow.